Hi Everyone,
Well
another month has slid by, and here we are on the threshold of
September. Autumn or fall is just around the corner for
us here in the Northern Hemisphere but yahhh, spring for you guys
south of the equator.
I'm off to the gorgeous Klamath
River (near Oregon border) for the long weekend tomorrow. Not taking
any work; togs, light reading and my painting paraphenalia packed
already...but I'll be back in time for our group on Monday night.
I'm
writing about being late, this month. There can be a myriad
of reasons why we are of course. If it happens rarely then it is
no big problem; however, if it happens more often than not, maybe its
time (excuse the pun) to figure out what triggers this habit and
see if you can modify it. Being late is a no-win situation.
The people waiting for you feel bad, and you probably feel worse when
you finally arrive. Read on... |
 Are You Punctually Challenged?
Do you arrive late and stressed to most
pre-arranged events? Are your friends and coworkers started
to get a little miffed or downright angry? Lateness is a
habit you have developed, and it can be changed. You can't really manage time; it passes regardless of what you say, do, or think. What you can manage is your behavior.
We had a really interesting discussion in our Share the Strengths Group Coaching
last night that touched on this subject. All personal information
is strictly confidential but I know the group won't mind me sharing the
strategy we brainstormed.
It was agreed that one reason we run
late is the habit of trying to do 'one last thing' before we leave one
place to go to another. Above all else, ADDers hate the idea of
boredom. Any empty or wasted time seems like a gaping hole filled
with discomfort. So, in an effort to not have a 'surplus of time'
before leaving, a task is often begun to fill the gap.
Unfortunately, the task chosen is often not suitable for the job.
Any activity that takes a while to 'get into and/or get out of' won't
work. It was decided that filling the gap was fine, but, fill it
with an activity that is easy to pick up and put down, so you can leave
on time. What was voted most likely to work was a book or
magazine, or if you find reading hard, as many ADDers do, a book
on tape.
For the same reason, always take a book or activity
with you to an appointment. Maybe you are getting there late
because you are trying to get there 'on the dot' (and sometimes miss) -
again so you don't have a lot of 'empty time' waiting - always take a
'time sponge' with you to mop up any left over minutes so you can plan
to get to the destination a little early and still be comfortable.
Another
mind shift can be to become aware that the 'one last thing' before you
leave can also be the 'one first thing' you do when you get back.
There
can be many reasons for being late. Perhaps 'transitioning'
from one place to another is uncomfortable for you under some
circumstances. Maybe you use the jolt of realizing you're late to
get you moving faster and more focused? Or your 'time
perception' could be 'off' so you dont judge time accurately?
It's
possible you could be late based on a combination of these,
or other reasons. The first step is to identify what's
causing you to be late.
- Try keeping a log (paper or electronic) for 2 or 3 weeks - note
when you are late and why. Also, conversely, when you are on time
- what were the circumstances.
- Look at your log and identify your one biggest obstacle to
promptness. Don't try to work on all the reasons if there are
several - choose one and conquer it first, then move onto the next.
A
good motivator mentioned by the group last night is to remember how you
feel when you arrive late. How stressful and often unpleasant it
is for you, and those you kept waiting.
Then visualize how great
it would be to always be on time. How will you feel? How
will people treat you? Really get a good visual in your mind of
this new experience. How great will it be to absolutely know you
can trust yourself to be on time and arrive relaxed? With this
thought in mind you can choose to change... work on it daily, one step
at a time. |
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Back to top.
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Quote:
Between stimulas and response lies choice...
(not sure where I read this, but I like it a lot and thank the author...)
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| Never Say...'Yes'
Do you find it hard not to automatically say 'yes' to what sounds like a great new idea?!
Your love of a new activity and your natural curiosity often accelerated by your
'dopamine seeking brain' can get you waaay too busy for comfort.
Ask yourself these four questions before you say 'Yes' to the next request...
- Will this help me to reach my vision?
- Will this help me to accomplish any of my goals?
- Will I enjoy myself?
- Will this negatively impact other obligations?
Get into the habit of always saying "Let me check my schedule." and "Can you get back to me tomorrow?". Put
the responsibility to follow up on the person making the request when
possible (if it's your boss it may be different)!! Then make a note to yourself to consider the
idea. You need a way to capture these sorts of 'on the fly' to
do's to ensure you do consider the idea and call with your
decision. |
How to save 19 million trees
No
doubt you have come home periodically to find a massive phone book
flung on your driveway, or stacked by the mailbox. Seems these
dinosaurs of information are delivered regardless of whether or not you
ask for or use them.
If you are like me and use the internet
to get all the current info you need, join the 10,000 plus already
saying "No Thanks" at www.yellowpagesgogreen.org and reduce clutter and save all those trees.
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Share the Strengths
Group Coaching
6:00 - 7:00 PST every Monday
The
group has been running for a month now and it's a great hit!
Everyone is thrilled and plans to sign up again for next month (except
for one lucky member off to Italy for three weeks!). We focus on
supporting the members to celebrate personal strengths and brainstorm
solutions. Typically we come up with a different strategy each
week. Last week it was decided to "check back in" the following
week with those that used the strategy to see how it worked for
them. So the group is acting as an 'accountability buddy' for
those that chose that.
Here is what Nancy, one of the group members said today...
"I
finally feel like I am part of a group of people that really understand
me. I don't feel so alone anymore, and everyone talks my
language. It's been great to hear people ask "Does anyone do
XYZ?" and everyone says "Yes!". Each week I've learned
something new and helpful from the others. By discussing the solutions
they seem more real and doable. Not just ideas from a book
that dont get actioned."
Would you like to join us in September? Yes? then email me
with your name, email address
and phone number
$20 per session
Month to month commitment.
(Payable on or before the 1st of each month).
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