August 2008
Hi Everyone,

Well another month has slid by, and here we are on the threshold of September.  Autumn or fall is just around the corner for us here in the Northern Hemisphere but yahhh, spring for you guys south of the equator. 

I'm off to the gorgeous Klamath River (near Oregon border) for the long weekend tomorrow. Not taking any work; togs, light reading and my painting paraphenalia packed already...but I'll be back in time for our group on Monday night.

I'm writing about being late, this month.  There can be a myriad of reasons why we are of course.  If it happens rarely then it is no big problem; however, if it happens more often than not, maybe its time (excuse the pun) to figure out what triggers this habit and see if you can modify it.  Being late is a no-win situation.  The people waiting for you feel bad, and you probably feel worse when you finally arrive.  Read on...
Punctually Are You Punctually Challenged?
Do you arrive late and stressed to most pre-arranged events? Are your friends and coworkers started to get a little miffed or downright angry? Lateness is a habit you have developed, and it can be changed.  You can't really manage time; it passes regardless of what you say, do, or think.  What you can manage is your behavior.

We had a really interesting discussion in our Share the Strengths Group Coaching last night that touched on this subject.  All personal information is strictly confidential but I know the group won't mind me sharing the strategy we brainstormed.

It was agreed that one reason we run late is the habit of trying to do 'one last thing' before we leave one place to go to another.  Above all else, ADDers hate the idea of boredom.  Any empty or wasted time seems like a gaping hole filled with discomfort.  So, in an effort to not have a 'surplus of time' before leaving, a task is often begun to fill the gap.  Unfortunately, the task chosen is often not suitable for the job.  Any activity that takes a while to 'get into and/or get out of' won't work.  It was decided that filling the gap was fine, but, fill it with an activity that is easy to pick up and put down, so you can leave on time.  What was voted most likely to work was a book or magazine, or if you find reading hard, as many ADDers do, a book on tape.

For the same reason, always take a book or activity with you to an appointment.  Maybe you are getting there late because you are trying to get there 'on the dot' (and sometimes miss) - again so you don't have a lot of 'empty time' waiting - always take a 'time sponge' with you to mop up any left over minutes so you can plan to get to the destination a little early and still be comfortable.

Another mind shift can be to become aware that the 'one last thing' before you leave can also be the 'one first thing' you do when you get back.

There can be many reasons for being late.  Perhaps 'transitioning'  from one place to another is uncomfortable for you under some circumstances.  Maybe you use the jolt of realizing you're late to get you moving faster and more focused?  Or your 'time perception' could be 'off' so you dont judge time accurately?

It's possible you could be late based on a combination of these, or other reasons.  The first step is to identify what's causing you to be late.

  • Try keeping a log (paper or electronic) for 2 or 3 weeks - note when you are late and why.  Also, conversely, when you are on time - what were the circumstances.
  • Look at your log and identify your one biggest obstacle to promptness.  Don't try to work on all the reasons if there are several - choose one and conquer it first, then move onto the next.
A good motivator mentioned by the group last night is to remember how you feel when you arrive late.  How stressful and often unpleasant it is for you, and those you kept waiting.

Then visualize how great it would be to always be on time.  How will you feel?  How will people treat you?  Really get a good visual in your mind of this new experience.  How great will it be to absolutely know you can trust yourself to be on time and arrive relaxed?  With this thought in mind you can choose to change... work on it daily, one step at a time.

This newsletter is a FREE service providing you with strategies and support to help you live a more organized stress-free life.  Without spamming, please forward this on to anyone you think may benefit.

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Are you Punctually Challenged?

Quote of the month

Never Say 'Yes'...

How to Save 19 Million Trees

Join 'Share the Strengths' group coaching...

Quote Quote:

Between stimulas and response lies choice...

(not sure where I read this, but I like it a lot and thank the author...)
NeverSayYes Never Say...'Yes'
Do you find it hard not to automatically say 'yes' to what sounds like a great new idea?!
Your love of a new activity and your natural curiosity often accelerated by your 
'dopamine seeking brain' can get you waaay too busy for comfort.
Ask yourself these four questions before you say 'Yes' to the next request...

  1. Will this help me to reach my vision?
  2. Will this help me to accomplish any of my goals?
  3. Will I enjoy myself?
  4. Will this negatively impact other obligations?
Get into the habit of always saying "Let me check my schedule." and "Can you get back to me tomorrow?". Put the responsibility to follow up on the person making the request when possible (if it's your boss it may be different)!! 
Then make a note to yourself to consider the idea. You need a way to capture these sorts of 'on the fly' to do's to ensure you do consider the idea and call with your decision.
HowtosaveHow to save 19 million trees

No doubt you have come home periodically to find a massive phone book flung on your driveway, or stacked by the mailbox.  Seems these dinosaurs of information are delivered regardless of whether or not you ask for or use them.

If you are like me and use the internet to get all the current info you need, join the 10,000 plus already saying "No Thanks" at and reduce clutter and save all those trees.
Share the Strengths

Group Coaching
6:00 - 7:00 PST every Monday

The group has been running for a month now and it's a great hit!  Everyone is thrilled and plans to sign up again for next month (except for one lucky member off to Italy for three weeks!).  We focus on supporting the members to celebrate personal strengths and brainstorm solutions.  Typically we come up with a different strategy each week.  Last week it was decided to "check back in" the following week with those that used the strategy to see how it worked for them.  So the group is acting as an 'accountability buddy' for those that chose that.

Here is what Nancy, one of the group members said today...

"I finally feel like I am part of a group of people that really understand me.  I don't feel so alone anymore, and everyone talks my language.  It's been great to hear people ask "Does anyone do XYZ?" and everyone says "Yes!".  Each week I've learned something new and helpful from the others. By discussing the solutions they seem more real and doable.  Not just ideas from a book that dont get actioned."

Would you like to join us in September? Yes?  then email me
with your name, email address
and phone number  

$20 per session  
Month to month commitment.

(Payable on or before the  1st of each month).

Lindsay Hilsenbeck, ACG

Certified ADHD Coach

ADHD Coaching & Consulting

The nonjudgmental solution.

Organize.  Prioritize.  Optimize for life...
ph: 510 669 1152

Publication and Reprint Info
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-311X 
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is written and edited by Lindsay Hilsenbeck, ACG ADHD Coaching & Consulting Copyright (c). All rights reserved.

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